In short, "A Grief Observed" was exactly what one would imagine it to be about. In this book, Lewis merely thought deeply and wrote about his grief(s) in regards to the recent death of his wife. To the reader, the book does seem to be a bit like a diary or journal of some kind in which the author shares his deepest feelings and lets you in on what he's really thinking. I will admit, further, that at times while reading this book I did feel like a bit of an intruder - sticking my nose into somebody else's business. Yet, on the other hand, that is just what Lewis wanted us to see. I could not say this better than it has already been said by Douglas Gresham (Lewis' wife's son), so I will just let him say it...
"It is true to say that very few men could have written this book, and even truer to say that even fewer men would have written this book even if they could, fewer still would have published it even if they had written it" (Lewis XIX.*)
It was very audacious of Lewis to print this, his heart, for anyone and everyone to pick apart; however, I also feel that it was a wise move on his part for it has provided much wisdom and insight for me as I'm sure it has to every other person who has read the book... and I'm not even grieving the death of a loved one! More than that, the book has raised some very thought-provoking ideas, some of which I would like to share.
I think that perhaps the most interesting of ideas came in the middle of the book - once he had calmed down a bit from the horror of it all. Lewis, himself, even admitted that with teary eyes, nothing can be seen clearly...
"You can't see anything properly while your eyes are blurred with tears..." (Lewis 45).
In the same way, it is difficult to understand and make sense of a situation such as this (or any situation for that matter) when we are wallowing in the shock of it. Thus, it was at the precise moment when Lewis began to look past his personal and selfish sorrow that he began to make some good sense. One of my favorite points he brought up is that God only hurts us to heal us. Lewis used an example of a surgeon to make this point...
"Suppose that what you are up against is a surgeon whose intentions are wholly good. The kinder and more conscientious he is, the more inexorably he will go on cutting. If he yielded to your entreaties, if he stopped before the operation was complete, all the pain up to that point would have been useless" (Lewis 43). God is like the good surgeon; in order to get the bad stuff out, He just might have to do some cutting and pulling. And yes, this hurts! I'm sure we can all attest to that! We can come to three different conclusions regarding the character God from the aspect of pain... 1)God is bad, 2)God is only moderately good, or 3) God really is Good. However, to claim that conclusion number 1 is true is to conclude erroneously - for if God were bad, why would He go to such troubles to make us (His creations) more perfect? At that point we would be better than him and, therefore, would become our own gods as we would not need him. On the same hand, to assert that conclusion number 2 is correct is also incorrect for, as Lewis firmly declares,
"No even moderately good Being could possibly inflict or permit [tortures] if they weren't [necessary]" (Lewis 43).
You see, it only makes sense that if tortures do occur (which indeed they do) and if they are necessary (it sure does seem that we can't find a way to escape them)that God must be wholly Good. It is precisely because He is good that we must hurt. Like Aslan in The Chronicles of Narnia, God is Good but He is not tame! Similarly, as Lewis finally remarks...
"What do people mean when they say, 'I am not afraid of God because I know He is good'? Have they never even been to a dentist?" (Lewis 43).
Interesting to think about... any thoughts from you? Please comment!
Coming Soon: Screwtape Letters -- C.S. Lewis
*All quotes and excerpts taken from
Lewis, C.S. A Grief Observed. HarperCollins Publishers Inc. San Fransisco, California: 2001.
3 comments:
I liked this post and would have to agree with much of what you said. This book is Lewis pouring his heart out and showing that he is a normal human being like the rest of us. It was interesting to see that even though he knew so much about God and had such a good relationship, he still went through many doubts about of his existence and why he would let something like this happen. The book is short, but very deep. I thought it was interesting when he was talking about how people are really just killing the dead more when they keep the mourning and the grief their focus. What did you think about that?
Yes, I would certainly agree that it was interesting to see such a Godly man struggling so much with his grief... it makes him seem so much more human and relatable. In regards to killing the dead more by incessant mourning, I thought Lewis hit the nail on the head. By constantly thinking about the dead and how sad we are about it all, we pound those sad ideas into our heads and the person becomes more than dead, so to speak... even the mention of his(her) name becomes something of an icon of death. Then, every time we think of that person we can think solely of sadness and death more than we think about the person themselves. By mourning their death, we are only being selfish for we want them back only for our sake and happiness. Thus, the more selfish we become, the more dead the deceased are made.
I really thought it was interesting when he was talking about how he remembered H. most when he wasn't grieving. It was at the times that he wasn't thinking about himself and how sad he was that he could remember who she was all the more. I was just flat-out amazed with all the discoveries Lewis made in the midst of his grief. He packed a lot of thought and ideas into a mere 76 pages... it really gives meaning to the idea that BIG things come in SMALL packages :)
I liked and would agree with your second thoughts. And yes you can borrow the book. I'll bring it next Bible Study!
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