Every Step Counts

This summer, well, really the whole year since last summer, has been like one giant roller coaster for me. I have been pulled and stretched in numerous ways, yet through it all God has been teaching me lesson after lesson, beckoning me to run into His ever open-arms. But to be completely honest, I often feel like I've failed all those lessons, like He's taught me, but I haven't changed a thing. In fact, sometimes I feel like I've only retreated - gone backwards, instead of forward. Frequently, I fear that I'm doing everything wrong and that I've just lost passion to live extravagantly for my Savior.

As I was thinking all of this through one day while unpacking and reorganizing after coming home for the summer, I ran into a book I had borrowed several years ago. The title of the book, wouldn't you know, was "Passion for Jesus." Talk about divine intervention. Simply looking at the cover of the book brought back memories of reading it several years ago and of all passion it stirred up and the wonders it taught. I remembered how I couldn't put the book down as I had read it and how it filled me with so much hope. I'm still not quite sure why I had yet to return the book to its rightful owner; it's been several years now... who knows but that it was for such a time as this? Regardless, I flipped open the book and immediately found several markers I had left behind in it. Of course, I read those marked sections first, but it wasn't long before I realized I just wanted to re-read the whole thing all over again. I finally re-finished the book a couple days ago and will make it abundantly known that I was not disappointed. Mike Bickle, author of the book, shared a plethora of beautiful insights regarding the love and character of our Father in order to make the point that recognition of His love and character prods us into intimacy with and passion for Christ.

Though this book was filled with many brilliant thoughts, for now I just want to share how it filled me with hope, despite my feelings of a lack of passion.

Bickle brought his story close to home when he shared how his devotional life seemed to be going down the drain. He was still spending time with God, but just didn't feel that he was getting anything out of it. He found that he was disappointed with himself and frustrated that he wasn't getting anywhere. In the midst of his struggles and frustrations, Bickle was encouraged by reading 2 Corinthians 3:18:

"But we all, with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit."

Bickle realized that all God had ever asked is that we behold Him dimly - as in a mirror. We don't have to be perfect; we can't be. In his own words,

"An ancient mirror made of polished metal would give a faint, inadequate, very dim reflection. It was as if the Lord said, 'Beholding Me dimly is all I ever asked of you.... Those [uninspired prayers] were dim, all right. But that time with Me was still transforming because all I have ever asked is that you behold Me dimly'" (75-76).

Though we can't ever measure up to perfection, we can do our best to behold Him, even if it is only dimly. And all those times of seemingly uninspired devotions are okay and still significant to God. We don't have to have burning-bush incidents to be significant... un-anointed times count too and are a part of our glorification process - where God brings us from glory to glory. Furthermore, we must realize that God is still enraptured by us regardless of our own disappointment with ourselves; He sees our passion and desire for something more... that's what stirs His heart.

God began a good work in me and I believe He will complete it (Phil. 1:6). He will transform me from glory to glory... and every single step counts, no matter how small.