Locks of Love

Hair. Who knew a person could be so attached to dead skin cells?

To be completely honest, I didn’t want to cut my hair. I was scared to death. Maybe it sounds silly, but in the past 19 years, (besides trimming) I have cut my hair only once – in 3rd grade – and even at that it was only 5 inches off, at most. I never wanted short hair; I loved brushing it too much. And curling it. And getting complimented for it; one person even told me that my long hair was “to die for” and that the man I marry would probably be attracted to me by my gorgeous hair. I loved it.

. . .

There is in the universe a higher kind of beauty. It is the beauty of sacrifice, of giving up for others, of suffering for others. -Laubach p60*

I read those sentences probably 6 months ago. And I’ve probably quoted them at least twice in my blogs and more than 10 times in my prayer journal. Since then, the idea has popped up in my mind hundreds of times and I am beginning to understand the truth of Laubach’s words… beauty is found in sacrifice – in giving up for the sake of others, in forgetting yourself and putting others first. For a while now, I’ve wanted to participate in this “higher kind of beauty” by sacrificing of myself. The past few summers, I’ve tried practiced sacrifice by giving up something small – like soda, chips, even chocolate. But those were easy. This time, I wanted to give up something that would really be significant, that would be difficult for me, and that would be done solely out of love for my hero, Jesus.

As I’ve been bouncing the idea of sacrifice around in my head the past few weeks and wondering what I could possibly do, I found my best friend’s list of things-to-do-before-she-dies. Near the top of her list was: donate my hair to Locks of Love.

“Oh yeah, I wanted to do that too…” I thought, “but not right now. Let me wait until it grows just a little longer.” (The same excuse I’ve been giving myself for years.)

And that’s when it hit me. I love my hair. A lot. I would hate to lose it. If I had cancer, I’d be devastated about my hair loss. In fact, I’d probably (selfishly) cry more over my loss of hair than of being a cancer victim. (Lame, I know.) Somewhere out there, though, is a girl with cancer who probably feels the same way. And oh wouldn’t she be delighted to have hair that was “to die for”?

Donating my hair to Locks of Love, I realized, would be quite a sacrifice for me. So maybe I was looking into styling my hair a little differently for the summer, but I definitely wasn’t ready to lose the length yet. But more than wanting long hair, I wanted to show Jesus that I love Him… that I love Him more than summer, more than chocolate, and, yes, even more than long hair. Maybe losing 10+ inches off your hair doesn’t seem like that big of a deal (especially when you know you can just grow it back). But to me, who spent 19 years growing it out, it was a big deal.

When I called up my hair-stylist cousin to schedule the appointment with her today, I was secretly hoping she wouldn’t be available and that I’d have to check back next week. But when I found out she was available today, I knew that donating my hair was what I really wanted to do. I was so sure, in fact, that when I walked into the salon and heard my cousin ask if I was positive I really wanted her to cut all my “long beautiful hair,” I could answer confidently, “Yes!” Yes. I’m tired of being selfish. I love my hair, but I love Jesus more. And I want to be like Him. I want to imitate Jesus through sacrifice and to know what it feels like to truly give up of myself for another person. I want to be beautiful the way He was beautiful.

I still can’t imagine what it was like for Jesus to make His ultimate sacrifice so that I could experience freedom and perfect bliss with Him. I can only imagine that it was a LOT harder than cutting His hair would have been. I also know that I will never be perfect or completely comfortable with this whole sacrifice thing… but who better to ask than the One who gave up His entire life?

In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. –Ephesians 1:7-8

*Laubach, Frank C. "Letters by a Modern Mystic"