Unshakable Joy

The other day, I woke up feeling stressed; I had so much do and so little time to do it! On top of that, I knew this was at least the second time in a row I would have to skip chapel to finish homework and I was so tired of finishing things at the very last minute. On this particular day, I told myself that if I could just finish a certain amount of homework before my first class, I would be in good shape for the rest of the day. Fortunately for me, I did finish what I needed to… and I was ecstatic. I walked off to class feeling accomplished, energized, and at peace. In my state of joy, I began praying, thanking God for His endurance and asking for His peace on those who were still stressing. As I was talking with Him, I ran into a friend who immediately noticed my joyful condition. Without hesitation, she concluded that I must have met a boy who just made my day. She then walked off, mind made up, without any further ado. As it turns out, yes, I had been talking to a boy – I had been talking to Jesus. Apparently, talking with Him evoked outer emotions similar to that of a romance. I was touched, actually, by her misinterpretation of my display of emotions because, really, it was no misinterpretation at all. I am in a romance – a divine romance; He is delighted with me and I delight in Him. I am touched that she noticed.

But the more I think about this funny circumstance, the more disappointed it makes me. My friend was caught off-guard by my joyful exuberance… which implies that I am normally not that joyful. But shouldn’t I be joyful all the time? This situation made me realize that I often base my state of joy on my own accomplishments (or lack thereof) and personal situations; essentially, my joy is related to how I view my identity in light of my achievements and situations. For example, if homework is going well, I have an abundance of joy and like to think that my identity must be in being a good student. On the other hand, if homework is not working out according to schedule, I identify myself internally as a bad student and allow my external attitude to be poor and lacking in joy. I tend to let circumstances determine the attitude I have both inside and outside my heart. It is for this reason, I think, that my joy is not constant for it is based on unstable conditions.

I had an epiphany the other day: God never has identity issues. He has a complete and full understanding of who He is. Furthermore, He does not change. The God I serve is immutable and true all the time. His love is constant every day. His mercies are made new each morning. His goodness is permanent and His power is unchallengeable. He is a firm foundation who will never be shaken. Since I belong to Him, my identity is thus based on His solid, never-changing, firm identity.

Why should my attitude of joy ever have reason to change?

I want my joy to be constant, just as God has shown Himself to be. My attitude of joy will only be shaken if my identity is shaken – which is only possible if it is founded on changeable things (like achievements, task performance, happy circumstances, etc.). But unshakable joy, as I truly desire, is only achievable through an unshakable foundation in which God is the source of my identity.

So really, it all boils down to this: the more I know God, who shapes my identity, the more I will find constant reason to delight in Him regardless of my circumstances and the more people will find that look of exuberant joy on my face as my usual expression.